Fwd: FW: Johnny Christmas Letter

Hey Y'all,

Less then 2 weekes before I'm back in Paradise (Texas, not Hawaii), lookin
forward to seein all ya that I can. Here's a little note to spread the
holiday cheer.

Subject: Johnny Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,
You must be surprised I am writing you today, the 26th of
December. Well I would very much like to clear up certain things that have
occurred since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusions, I
wrote you a letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of
roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the
whole year! Not only was I
first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not
going to lie to you Santa; there was no one in the entire neighborhood that
behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, friends and my
neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly across the
street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS
YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE,AND A PAIR OF
SOCKS!!!What the FUCK were you THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH!?!?!That
you've taken me for a SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, to come out with some
SHIT LIKE THIS under the damn tree. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH,YOU
GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, HECAN'T
EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! Please don't let me see you trying to fit
your BIG ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'll throw rocks
at those STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO
YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO
SINCE YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH. You know what
Santa, FUCK YOU!! Next year you'll find out HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FUCKING
BE...YOU'VE BEEN STEPPING ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG!
SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH!

Sincerely,
Johnny

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