RE: WINDAS 98 BROOKLYN Edition

you can reach me on my cell phone from now on. 713.628.0674. call me. i lost all your phone numbers.

-----Original Message-----
From: "Karen Van Pelt" <kvanpelt@houston.rr.com<@ENRON
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2001 9:44 PM
To: Veronica Dare; Tonishia Van Pelt; Tiffani; Sumit Patel; Scott Lanehart; Scot Lilly \(@work\); Rachelle Bennett; Neely Shaw; Natasha Pryse; Mitch Webb; Mike Van Pelt; Michael Campbell; Melissa Key; Lesli and Ramzy; Larry F Campbell; Julie & Matt; Jill Danker; George Stegmiller; Gail Van Pelt; Eursula; Dave Welch; Darrell Hickman; Cheryl G.; Cathy Webb; Billy Van Pelt; Bill Van Pelt; Benjamin Hogan; Aaron Gregory; Allison Halford
Subject: WINDAS 98 BROOKLYN Edition

WINDAS 98 BROOKLYN Edition

Dear Consumas:
It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS
98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn. If
ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands.
Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen.
It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza. When
you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da
teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.
Please also note:
Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island." *
My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa."
The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."
Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out."
Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."
Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."
Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family
business"
and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it down.
Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour." **
Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!"
pops
up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:
OK...................Sure ting
Cancel...........Fugetaboutit
Reset.............Start Ova
Yes.................Yeah
No...................Nah
Find................Put a contract out on
Browse..........Get a looksee
Back...............U toin
Help................(Help ain't available -yous
don't need nostinkin'help)
Stop.................Knock it off
Start.................Move it!
Settings..........Here's d' Rules

Also note dat any voice recognition software run
on da BROOKLYNEDITION platform don't recognize da
ledda "R."

Some programs and udder accessories dat are
exclusive to WINDAS 98:
Typa................A word processin' program
Printa...............Printer
Calculata..........Calculator
Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may
return it to Microsoft for a replacement version

Yeah so, Yous got a problem wit dat?
NON-BROOKLYNESE DICTIONARY
* Staten Island is where all of NY dumps it's garbage. The garbage now looks like a small Mountain Range with seagulls always in attendance.
** BQU = Brooklyn/Queens Expressway - The place where you take your life into your hands by entering from the "on ramp". You have to reach the speed of 60 mph to have any hopes of entering and you have to have breaks that can stop on "a dime" when your hopes of entering are dashed by a 18 wheeler barreling down on your position.