Dear farging iceholes...

After giving this trade situation WAY too much thought,
I have arrived at the following conclusions (giving examples
along the way so blockheads like DeFoggi can understand
the concepts).

1.) One suggestion is to have the online trading system
allow first come, first serve between specified hours/days
as allotted by the website. Unfortunately, the reality is
that this won't work because there are available free agents
on MY team and the only way to add/drop is that I become
notified anyway and go in and manually do the transaction
and waive the fee.

2.) Power ratings so that the low man on the totem pole
gets a chance for first pick. Okay, so a trader makes a
bad trade, loses money, gets fired, and then gets the same
job trading elsewhere for more money. A loser is a loser and
should be acknowledged as such (see Feeley). Those are the
breaks in this game. Besides, too time consuming for me to
go through the numbers.

3.) Free market... first come, first served, anytime, anywhere.
This is a good concept in that those that dedicate the time to
watching, studying, and anticipating an opportunity are allowed
to seize the moment and get paid. And they should because it
is just like a small business, you get out of it what you put into
it. Time is money. However, you can't do add/drops once your
lineup is set and you should only be able to apply trades to the
upcoming week anyways.

4.) Calling two fellow team owners to validate your trade. Really,
would you trust Gibby in this situation? I can hear it now, "Oh yeah,
dude, I was drinking a soder pop when he called but he neva said
anything about picking up that QB."

So, I have reached what I call a fair and amicable solution to all
of your f*cked up problems.

First, the core of someone's team is going to decide the results
week in and week out. I've been in this long enough to know that
pickups (especially in a big league) are rarely gonna make that
big of a difference in the outcome of a season. Past examples
include WR Thrash who had a spectacular game against Seattle
only to turn around and have a dismal game against the lowly
Cowboys. There was $15 given to the pot. What I am getting at
is that I think trading is way overrated and only serves to build the
pot for the team that drafted the strongest in the beginning anyways.

Second, online access allows a level playing field. I agree with this
and it should be implemented because it is also time stamped so
there is no question as to who was first in a selection. If an owner
is going to stoop so low as to change the clock on their computer
to try and get an earlier time stamp, then there are bigger mental
problems down the road and the money you make off the win should
be applied accordingly.

Third, my time is just as important and so is a "transaction" period.
For example, this weekend is Octoberfest weekend in Fredericksburg.
If you think I am going to hang around and stay sober so I can meet
your demands and implement your requests, you are sorely mistaken.
I fully expect to start drinking myself into oblivion Friday evening and
don't expect to come out of my coma until sometime Sunday evening
so your changes/requests/questions need to be done by Friday afternoon.

SO, here is what I suggest:

1.) to make an add/drop (trade) transaction, click on the "Owners" tab
on the league homepage (found up top next to Live Chat), page down
to the bottom of the page and send a broadcast email to ALL team members
announcing your intentions. I will implement the trade(s) on the Tuesday following
the Monday night game. The transaction deadline is Friday 5:00 PM for the weekend
games. If I receive the email timestamped before then, I will make the trade for
the upcoming weekend. IF there is a Thursday night game, Thursday 5:00 PM
is the deadline for THE WEEKEND. At any time after the deadline if a transaction
is submitted, it will apply to the following weekend. Also, there will be NO limit on
the amount of transactions, feel free to contribute as much as you wish.

2.) regarding current requested trades for the past weekend: for this week only,
send ME an email with your request. I will take one trade per team this week
only. If two teams want the same free agent, whoever guesses closes to where the
Nasdaq composite closes Wednesday, October 3rd wins. The loser will be notified
as such. So, BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR GUESS.

This should provide everyone easy online access to making trades. All you have
to do is make sure the free agent is indeed free, that nobody has already sent you
an email picking him up, and shoot a broadcast out to the owners proclaiming
him as yours. Simple.

So, any questions or concerns can be sent back to discuss. I will shoot down all
of them. I am going to lunch. I eagerly await the opportunity to tell you why your
plan won't work.

Craig, the commish