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Enron Mail |
YIDDISH HAIKU (17 syllables)
<< After the warm rain << the sweet smell of camellias. << Did you wipe your feet? < < << Her lips near my ear; << Aunt Sadie whispers the name << of her friend's disease. < < << Looking for pink buds << to prune, the old moyel << wanders among his flowers. < < << Today I am a man. << Tomorrow I will return << to the seventh grade. < < << Harsh Scrabble discord -- << someone has placed "putzhead" on << a triple word score. < < << Testing the warm milk << on her wrist, she sighs softly. << But her son is forty. < < << The sparkling blue sea << reminds me to wait an hour << after my sandwich. < < << Tea ceremony -- << fragrant steam perfumes the air. << Try the cheese danish. < << Lacking fins or tail << the gefilte fish swims with << great difficulty. < < << Lovely butterfly -- << not long ago your name was << Caterpillarstein. < < A cat steals into << the night just like my former << partner, that gonif. < < << Yom Kippur -- Forgive << me, Lord, for the Mercedes << and all that lobster. < < << Hey! Get back indoors. << Whatever you were doing << could put an eye out. < < << In the ice sculpture << reflected bar mitzvah guests << nosh on chopped liver. < < << Hidden connection -- << starvation in Africa, << food left on my plate. < < << Like a bonsai tree, << your terrible posture at << my dinner table. < < << Beyond Valium << the peace of knowing one's child << is an internist. < < << Jews on safari -- << map, compass, elephant gun, << hard sucking candies. < < << Coroner's report -- << "The deceased, wearing no hat, << caught his death of cold." < < << The same kimono << the top geishas are wearing: << got it at Loehmann's. < < << The sparrow brings home << too many worms for her young. << "Force yourself," she chirps. < < << Jewish triathlon: << gin rummy, then contract bridge, << followed by a nap. < < << "Can't you just leave it?" << the new Jewish mother asks -- << umbilical cord. < < << The shivah visit: << so sorry about your loss. << Now back to my problems. < << Our youngest daughter, << our most precious jewel. << Hence the name, Tiffany. < << Ma, please! There is no << need to put that dinner roll << in your pocketbook. < << Seven-foot Jews in << the NBA, slam-dunking! << My alarm clock rings. < << Concert of car horns << as we debate the question << of when to change lanes. << Sorry I'm not home << to take your call. At the tone << please state your bad news. < < << Is one Nobel Prize << so much to ask from a child << after all I've done? < < << Would-be convert lost -- << thawed Lender's Bagels made a << bad first impression. < < << Today, mild shvitzing. << Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz. << Five-day forecast -- feh. < << Left the door open << for the Prophet Elijah. << Now our cat is gone. < < << Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. << Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Tochis. << Oy! To be fluent! < << Quietly murmured << at Saturday services, << Yanks 5, Red Sox 3. < << Lonely mantra of << the Buddhist monk--"They never << write, they never call." < << Look, Beryl! I've found << the most splendid tchochke for << our Chanukah bush. < << The long pilgrimage << to the venerable shrine -- << Leonard's of Great Neck. < << Cherry blossoms bloom. << Sure, it's beautiful, but is << it good for the Jews? < << A lovely nose ring -- << excuse me, while I put my << head in the oven. < << Hard to tell under << the lights -- white Yarmulke or << male-pattern baldness? < << Wet moss on the old stones. << Lying in the grass, << I ponder who to sue. << <<
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