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---------------------- Forwarded by Chris Dorland/HOU/ECT on 11/15/2000 04:13
PM --------------------------- Michael McDermott <Michael.McDermott@spectrongroup.com< on 11/15/2000 05:05:34 AM To: "'Alexis Dodin'" <alexis.dodin@total.com<, "'Angus Cowan'" <Angus.Cowan@royalbank.com<, "'B.K. Milne'" <MILNEB@CIBC.CA<, "'Bradley'" <bdaly@txuenergy.com<, "'Bryan Moody'" <bhmoody@hotmail.com<, "'Carlo & Sophia'" <carloandsophia@hotmail.com<, "'Catriona Work'" <cmcdermott@BrunswickGroup.com<, "'Chris Blaker'" <blakerc@beaucanada.com<, "'Chris del Valle'" <delvalle@aep.com<, "'Chris Dorland'" <Chris.Dorland@enron.com<, "'David Redmond'" <david.redmond@enron.com<, "'Francesco Cicoli-Abad'" <FRANCIC@statoil.com<, "'George Potter'" <george.potter@txu-europe.com<, "'Haakon Olafsson'" <haakon_olafsson@enron.net<, "'Jason Blaker'" <jason.blaker@nbpcd.com<, "'Jasvinder Pal Singh Badyal'" <J.Badyal@accord.co.uk<, "'Kent Brown'" <kbrown@arciscorp.com<, "'Kevin McElroy'" <kmcelroy@nuheat.com<, "'Lionel Greene'" <lgreene@sempratrading.com<, "'Nils'" <Nils_Edstrand@instinet.co.uk<, "'Rob Laird'" <rlaird@oebi.com<, "'Stefan van Riet'" <stefan.vanriet@gs.com<, "'Urvesh'" <urvesh.kotecha@pgen.com< cc: Subject: The result of the US election - This is very funny < < < <Not everyone can wait for the recount.. < < < < < <--------------------------------------------- < <NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE < < < <To the citizens of the United States of America, < < < <In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and < thus to < <govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your < <independence, effective today. < < < <Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial < duties < over < <all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which < she < <does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, < MP for < <the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a < world < <outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without < the need < <for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. < A < <questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any < of you < <noticed. < < < <To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the < following < rules < <are introduced with immediate effect: < < < <1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. < Then < <look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be < amazed < at < <just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you < should < raise < <your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using < the < <same < <twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" < and "you < <know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. < Look up < <"interspersed". < < < <2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft < know on < <your behalf. < < < <3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian < accents. It < <really isn't that hard. < < < <4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as < the < <good guys. < < < <5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The < Queen", < <but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to < get < <confused and give up half way through. < < < <6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one < kind of < <football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very < good < <game. < <The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your < borders < <may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You < will no < <longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper < football. < <Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a < <difficult < <game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play < rugby < <(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve < stopping < for < <a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like < <nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens < side < by < <2005. < < < <7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear < weapons if < <they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that < there < <is < <a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The < Russians < <have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit". < < < <8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a < new < <national holiday, but only in England. It will be called < "Indecisive < Day". < < < <9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for < your < <own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we < mean. < < < <10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. < < < <Thank you for your cooperation. < < < < < < < < < <Hugh Richards < <Senior Training Consultant - EMEA London < <Office: +44(0)207 786 3013 < <Fax: +44(0)207 786 3001 < <Mobile: +44(0)7720350706 < < < < < <S2 Systems International, Ltd. < <30 City Road < <London, EC1Y 2AY < <United Kingdom < < < < < <CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE < <The information contained in this transmission is confidential. It < may < also < <be legally privileged. It is intended only for the addressee(s) < stated < <above. If you are not an addressee you should not disclose, copy, < circulate < <or in any other way use the information contained in this < transmission. < <Such unauthorized use may be unlawful. If you have received this < <transmission in error, please telephone us immediately so that we < can < <arrange for its return. < < < < < < < < < < < ______________________________________________________________________ < ___ < Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at < http://www.hotmail.com. < < Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at < http://profiles.msn.com.
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