Enron Mail

Subject:Fw: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments
Date:Mon, 5 Feb 2001 18:17:00 -0800 (PST)

---------------------- Forwarded by Tracy Geaccone/GPGFIN/Enron on 02/05/2001 02:24 PM ---------------------------

"Jack Hurst" <hurst@intur.net< on 01/12/2001 02:49:02 AM
To: "Wayne Guidry" <Guidry_Wayne@emc.com<, <Tracy.Geaccone@enron.com<, "Lou and Kathleen Dionne" <lkdionne@olypen.com<, "Janet Tanner" <jtanner_1953@yahoo.com<, "Dianne Costa" <gdsown@airmail.net<

Subject: Fw: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments

----- Original Message -----
From: "Hurst, Julie A" <Hurst.Julie@emeryworld.com<
Sent: Friday, January 12, 2001 2:11 PM
Subject: FW: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments

< These are great!
< Curl Up and Die
< I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
< and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
< blow job?"
< Melinda Lowe,
< 39, Seguin, TX
< Pad, please!
< An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
< insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me,
< and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old
< son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex
< right in front of our guest.
< Kathy Newman,
< 46,Winston-Salem, NC
< Ho, Ho, Ho
< I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
< bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a
< mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few
< shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included
< one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative
< called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting
< I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was
< shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured
< my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!
< Name Withheld
< Lady Golfer
< I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
< I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
< browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
< good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
< could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I
< think I like playing with men's balls."
< Colleen Collins,
< 31, Ferndale, MI
< Nuts about You
< My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
< a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
< boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
< "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
< hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
< away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
< Faye Emerick,
< 34, Ellerslie, MD
< The following are the top four winners of a Most Embarrassing
< Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine":
< Na-na na-na na-nah!
< While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
< release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
< grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
< from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start
< behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she
< looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
< "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
< saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
< deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
< stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
< dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The
< last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams
< of laughter.
< Amy Richardson;
< Stafford, Virginia
< Surprise!
< It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
< home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited
< my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
< after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I
< suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride
< to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't
< have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the
< stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people
< yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles,
< grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My
< girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and
< embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no
< one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
< Tim Cahill,
< Poughkeepsie, New York
< Priceless
< One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
< upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items
< at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker,
< she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
< embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed
< out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,
< TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the
< rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for
< "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over
< Mom's Advice
< A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
< squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying
< attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was
< quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
< circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go
< down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and
< ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to
< his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the
< room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at
< his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to
< call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me
< that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me
< up from school."
< Chris Vaught