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Enron Mail |
FYI
-----Original Message----- From: Rosenberg, David E. Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2001 8:13 AM To: Katy Rosenbergg (E-mail); 'rosypat@aol.com'; Lokey, Teb; Schroeder, Maggie; Tu, Denis; Hayslett, Rod; Lichtenwalter, Blair Subject: FW: Two Cows -----Original Message----- From: Binnie Williams [mailto:binnie.williams@verizon.net] Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 8:23 PM To: David Rosenberg; Ilana Rosanski; Frank Kittle; Mark B Simon Subject: Fw: Two Cows ----- Original Message ----- From: <BJKBROWN@aol.com< Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 6:52 PM Subject: Two Cows < THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES... < < A CHRISTIAN: < < You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. < < < A SOCIALIST: < < You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. < < < A REPUBLICAN: < < You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? < < < A DEMOCRAT: < < You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being < successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to < sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take < the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. < < < A COMMUNIST: < < You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. < < < A FASCIST: < < You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You < join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. < < < DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: < < You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell < both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a < gift from your government. < < < CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: < < You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. < < < BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: < < You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the < other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. < < < AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of < four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. < < < A FRENCH CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. < < < A JAPANESE CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an < ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. < < < A GERMAN CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat < once a month, and milk themselves. < < < AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: < < You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. < < < A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count < them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you < have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. < < < A MEXICAN CORPORATION: < < You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. < You take a nap. < < < A SWISS CORPORATION: < < You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing < them for others. < < < A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American < corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares < bankruptcy. < < < AN INDIAN CORPORATION: < < You have two cows. You worship them. < < < A TALIBAN < < You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and < they both die. You blame the godless American infidels. << < <
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