Fw: Stupid is as Stupid Does

Don't know if this is true but it's still funny!

Subject: Stupid is as Stupid Does

< This could be possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a
< bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the
< Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true
< story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....
<
< Dear Sir
<
< "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
< Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of
< my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
< details will be sufficient.
<
< I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone
< on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found
< that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to
be
< slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand,
I
< decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to
< the side of the building on the sixth floor.
<
< Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel
< out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
< holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note
in
< Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
<
< Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
< presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
< proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of
< the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an
< equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor
< abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the
accident
< report form.
<
< Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
< fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
< Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to
< hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
< of pain.
<
< At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
< ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
< the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to
< my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
the
< building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
< This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
< lacerations of my legs and lower body.
<
< Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed
< to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of
bricks
< and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
< however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I
< again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I
< lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
< This explains the two broken legs.
<
< I hope this answers your inquiry."
< Tony C.
<
<