The New Maid

A single man wanted someone to help him with the household
chores, so he decided to get a pet to help out. He went to
the local pet shop and asked the owner for advice on a
suitable animal. The owner suggested a dog, but the man said,
"Nah, dogs can't do dishes." The owner then suggested a cat,
but the man said, "Nah, cats can't do the ironing."

Finally the owner suggests a centipede, "This is the perfect
pet for you. It can do anything!" "OK," the man thought,
"I'll give it a try," so he bought it and took it home. Once
home he told the centipede to wash the dishes. The centipede
looks over and there are piles and piles of dirty dishes that
look to be a month old. Five minutes later, all the pots are
washed, dried, and put away. "Great," thought the man.

Now he told the centipede to do the dusting and vacuuming.
Fifteen minutes later the house is spotless. Wow, thought the
man, so he decided to try another idea. "Go down to the
corner and get me the evening paper," he told the centipede,
and off it went.

Fifteen minutes later, the centipede hadn't returned. 30
minutes later and still no centipede. Forty-five minutes and
the man was sick of waiting, so he got up and went out to
look for the centipede.

As he opened the front door, there on the step was the
centipede. "Hey, whatcha' doing there? I sent you out for the
paper 45 minutes ago and now I find you out here without the
paper! What gives?"

"Hold on a minute!" said the centipede, "I'm still putting on
my boots!"