---------------------- Forwarded by Vince J Kaminski/HOU/ECT on 11/20/2000
01:08 PM ---------------------------

Shirley Crenshaw
11/16/2000 09:53 AM
To: bobb.supertravel@wspan.com, audrau@yahoo.com, Memaw1995@aol.com,
Kathy.Crenshaw@inteq.com @ Enron, Kayla Crenshaw/Enron Communications@Enron
Communications, Carol_Fuentes@EOTT.com, IMYoars@aol.com, Vince J
Kaminski/HOU/ECT@ECT, emlea@usa.net, Marie Thibaut/Enron Communications@Enron
Communications, hmel5345@aol.com
cc:
Subject:

These are coming out of the walls and some are very funny!

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America: In
the light of your failure to
elect a president of the U.S.A. and thus to govern
yourselves, we hereby
give notice of the revocation of your independence,
effective today. Her
Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
monarchial duties over
all states, commonwealths and other territories
(except Utah, which she
does not fancy). Your new prime minister (The rt.
hon. Tony Blair, MP for
the 97.85 percent of you who have until now been
unaware that there is a
world outside your borders) will appoint a minister
for America without the
need for further elections. Congress and the Senate
will be disbanded. A
questionnaire will be circulated next year to
determine whether any of you
noticed. To aid in the transition to a British
Crown Dependency, the
following rules are introduced with immediate
effect:

1.You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford
English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminum." Check the
pronunciation guide. You will
be amazed at just how wrongly you have been
pronouncing it.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to
acceptable levels.
Look up "vocabulary." Using the same 27 words
interspersed with
filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is
an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed."

2.There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We
will let Microsoft know
on your behalf.

3.You should learn to distinguish the English
and Australian
accents. It really isn't that hard.

4.Hollywood will be required occasionally to
cast English actors as
the good guys.

5.You should relearn your original national
anthem, "God Save The
Queen," but only after fully carrying out task
1. We would not want
you to get confused and give up halfway
through.

6.You should stop playing American "football."
There is only one kind
of football. What you refer to as American
"football" is not a very
good game. The 2.15 percent of you who are
aware that there is a
world outside your borders may have noticed
that no one else
plays "American" football. You will no longer
be allowed to play it,
and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if
you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to
American "football," but does not involve
stopping for a rest every
20 seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour
like nancies). We
are hoping to get together at least a U.S.
rugby sevens side by
2005.

7.July 4th is no longer a public holiday.
November 8th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will
be called "Indecisive
Day."

8.All American cars are hereby banned. They are
crap and it is for
your own good. When we show you German cars,
you will
understand what we mean.

9.Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been
driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.