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<P< <BR<<BR<<FONT SIZE=3D2<<B<lisalindsley@hotmail.com</B<</FONT<<BR<<=
FONT SIZE=3D2<12/20/2001 06:38 AM GMT</FONT<<BR<<BR< <FONT SIZE=3D2<To:</FO= NT< <BR< <FONT SIZE=3D2<cc:</FONT< <BR< <FONT SIZE=3D2<bcc:</FONT< <BR< <FO= NT SIZE=3D2<Subject:</FONT< <FONT SIZE=3D2<Holy War</FONT<<BR< <BR<<BR<</P<= <P<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<Nothing spiritually uplifting, but I go= t a good chuckle from this.<BR<Have a great day!<BR<</FONT<<BR<<BR<<FONT FA= CE=3D"Monospace,Courier"< > >"Somebody said, 'What good will it = do to kill Osama bin Laden?' I<BR<said,'I don't know, let's find out.'"= ;<BR<* Don Imus<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"= <CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're<BR<number t= hree."<BR<* David Letterman<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"M= onospace,Courier"<"The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any le= tters or<BR<packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is going t= o be<BR<terrible news for the rap industry."<BR<* Jay Len= o<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"Last night the Talib= an offered to release eight Westerners if the<BR<U.S. promised not to= attack. The State Department declined but thanked<BR<the Taliban for the o= ffer, saying it really felt good to laugh again."<BR<* Ti= na Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"<BR<</FONT<= <BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"President Bush continues to have= the highest popularity rating of<BR<any president ever, current rating 130= percent... In fact, Al Gore<BR<carries in his wallet a picture of him and = Bush at the debates and says,<BR<'Yeah, I know him. We used to hang out.'&q= uot;<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Couri= er"<"Today President Bush urged all Americans to be patient with the w= ar<BR<on terrorism. I think we're pretty patient. Election day took what, t= hree<BR<months?"<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Mono= space,Courier"<"New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is lobbying now to stay i= n office<BR<another three months. And today Clinton said, 'You can do that?= '"<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Co= urier"<"Today in New York, we had the primary elections for mayor. To<= BR<improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy<BR= <Giuliani."<BR<* Conan O'Brien<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE= =3D"Monospace,Courier"<"People want to say there isn't racial profilin= g at the airport, but<BR<let's be honest. If your first name is Moham= med, and your last name isn't<BR<Ali, leave a little extra time."<BR<*= Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"= ;Do you remember the good ol' days when Congress was only unsafe if<BR<you = were an intern."<BR<* David Letterman<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT= FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"The big question now is who will take pow= er in Afghanistan once the<BR<Taliban is defeated. I was thinking, how abou= t Al Gore? He's not doing<BR<anything, he needs a job, and he's already got= the beard."<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Mo= nospace,Courier"<"Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used t= o be people in<BR<this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white = powder."<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monosp= ace,Courier"<"Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that = Publishers<BR<Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that co= uld be<BR<mistaken for anthrax. Oh, good timing. What genius came up with t= his<BR<promotion? What's next - a ticking alarm clock? Let's pu= t that in a box."<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE= =3D"Monospace,Courier"<"In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Ken= tucky Fried Chicken<BR<restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly though= t they were attacking<BR<high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sander= s."<BR<* Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live's "Week= end Update"<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"Presi= dent Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today<BR<Congress anno= unced that they are accepting bribes again."<BR<* Jay Len= o<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"It's a tough time to= do humor, but it's not the only tough time.<BR<There have been other tough= stretches in comedy. Remember a couple of<BR<years ago when President Clin= ton stopped dating for a couple of weeks?"<BR<* Jay Leno<= BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"Now this really annoys= me; all these people getting on the Internet<BR<and saying Nostradamus pre= dicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today<BR<his name would be Miss Cleo= and he'd be charging $2.99 a minute."<BR<* Jay Leno<BR<<= /FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<"People are being much, muc= h nicer to each other in New York. And I<BR<have to be honest, it's kind of= weird. The other night at Shea Stadium,<BR<instead of yelling 'You suck!' = at the Braves, Mets fans were yelling,<BR<'Others are better than you!'&quo= t;<BR<* Conan O'Brien<BR<</FONT<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Co= urier"<"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have= three<BR<words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, sh= e'll get<BR<his money, he'll be dead in a week."<BR<* Jay= Leno<BR<</FONT<<BR<<BR<<BR<<FONT FACE=3D"Monospace,Courier"<______________= ___________________________________________________<BR<Get your FREE downlo= ad of MSN Explorer at <A HREF=3Dhttp://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp<;http://exp= lorer.msn.com/intl.asp</A<.</FONT<</P<
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