RE: Sunday

Mom,

I'm sorry that today was particularly hard for you. It wasn't too sad for m=
e until I got your email. I had tried really hard to convince myself not to=
think about the fact that it's been a month because today is really just l=
ike yesterday. But I got your email while talking to Mikey and started talk=
ing about it all. I realized just now that I have my old standby of school =
to stress out about but that you can't really take comfort in your work lik=
e you normally would. That must make it extra hard on you. I got to let it =
all out on Wednesday when I got to the Pink House and none of y'all were th=
ere--I had a good forty minutes to myself, and I went out on the dock and j=
ust cried (until the rain came). It is honestly so hard for me to believe t=
hat he's gone. I still feel like I'm in denial sometimes. I have recognized=
that I feel extremely lonely right now because it seems like the whole wor=
ld has moved on and I'm caught in one place. As much as it hurts me to hear=
that you're having a particularly sad day, it feels good to know that some=
one is right there with me. I take comfort in that, if nothing else. For me=
, the biggest struggle has honestly been how upbeat and lively PopPop was t=
he day before he died. I almost wish I could have seen it in his face or so=
mething because I feel that maybe I would have been better prepared. But on=
the other hand, I'm so grateful to have had PopPop in good form as my last=
memories. Sigh. This is such a process, and I feel like it's just beginnin=
g. But I know we are going to get through it, and I can tell we're going to=
be an even stronger family because of it. I guess I'd better get back to m=
y thus far unsuccessful paper writing. My mind is evidently elsewhere becau=
se I've gotten nothing done today. Oh well I'm sure I'll get it all done an=
d do just fine. (Thanks to your "what's the worst that could happen?" speec=
h) Take care, and I'll see you Thursday.

Love,

Paige

P.S.
Call me if you want to talk...I'm always happy to hear from home.