Texas college jokes

---------------------- Forwarded by Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT on 05/13/99 10:04 AM
---------------------------

Mary Ogden on 05/13/99 09:25:03 AM
To: Stephen W Van Hooser/HOU/ECT@ECT, Pat Radford/HOU/ECT@ECT, Sandi M
Braband/HOU/ECT@ECT, Shawna Flynn/HOU/ECT@ECT, Susan Flynn/HOU/ECT@ECT, Debra
Perlingiere/HOU/ECT@ECT, Nony Flores/HOU/ECT@ECT, Shari Stack/HOU/ECT@ECT,
Ann Elizabeth White/HOU/ECT@ECT, Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT@ECT, Robert
Walker/HOU/ECT@ECT, Kimberlee A Bennick/HOU/ECT@ECT, Peggy Banczak/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:
Subject: Texas college jokes

<THERE'S ONE IN HERE TO OFFEND ALMOST EVERYONE'S TEXAS ALMA MATER!!!
<
<* How many UT students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Fifty - one to screw it in, and the other 49 to complain because a person
<of their race, gender, or sexual preference didn't get to screw in the
<light bulb.
<
<* How many Rice students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<One to screw it in and the rest of the student body to relieve the stress
<of screwing it in by running naked through campus.
<(No way! Any true Rice student knows the only true reason to run naked
<around campus is to get free beer at Valhalla......)
<
<* How many TCU students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Four - one to call Daddy to do it and the other three to find the perfect
<coordinating J. Crew outfits.
<
<* How many Texas Tech students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<All of them: One to screw it in and the rest of the students to try
<desperately to establish a rivalry with the other Big XII schools in light
<bulb screwing.
<
<* How many U of Houston students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<None. They don't want the gangs to know that they're in there.
<
<* How many Univ. North Texas students does it take to screw in a light
<bulb?
<Who cares?
<
<* How many Baylor students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<None. Light bulbs are the child of Satan.
<
<* How many SMU students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Two. One to make the martinis and the other to hire someone else to screw
<the bulb in.
<
<* How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Three - one to screw it in, one to call it a tradition and the other to
<lead the yell "Screw the Hell Outta the Light bulb!"
<
<* How many Stephen F. Austin students?
<3 - One to screw it in and two to laugh uncontrollably at the sexual
<connotations.
<
<* SWT Students?
<4 - One to screw it in, two to move the keg into place and one to load the
<bong.
<
<* Sam Houston State Students?
<None - they would just move back into their parents' house in Houston.
<
<* Texas Southern Students?
<Two - one to screw it in and the other to buy a candle from Bath &
<BodyWorks ; the school couldn't pay the electric bill this month.
<