FW: Going to a Texas School

-----Original Message-----
From: Sally Ring [mailto:sring@hcocntf.org]
Sent: Tuesday, March 12, 2002 4:24 PM
To: Parks, Kim (HCDA); Beck, Michelle (HCDA); Cabaniss, Katherine (HCDA);
Storts, Paula (HCDA); Kimberly Gaido (E-mail); Lamar Morris (E-mail); Linda
Garcia (E-mail); Sheila Wollam (E-mail)
Subject: FW: Going to a Texas School - funny!

hee hee this applies to you
-----Original Message-----
From: Joe Ring [mailto:phoenixe@telepak.net]
Sent: Tuesday, March 12, 2002 9:09 AM
To: Sally L. Ring; Joe Simo; Bob Flurry; Sam Geisenberger; Simmons Hicks;
Dan Kelly
Subject: Fw: Going to a Texas School - funny!

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Sent: Wednesday, March 06, 2002 10:47 PM
Subject: Going to a Texas School - funny!

Subj: Re: Fw: FW: Texas Colleges
Date: 3/6/2002 7:10:58 PM Central Standard Time
From: Ashley1249 <mailto:Ashley1249<
To: doc1@ev1.net <mailto:doc1@ev1.net< , mptbaseball@yahoo.com
<mailto:mptbaseball@yahoo.com< , cascherl@starfurniture.com
<mailto:cascherl@starfurniture.com< , DaniD510 <mailto:DaniD510< , JaNeLLy03
<mailto:JaNeLLy03< , Brenda0015 <mailto:Brenda0015<

The joy of going to college in Texas....
UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS I live in a town where you stand out if you don't have a
purple Mohawk, facial piercing chained to nipple piercing, a homosexual
lover, or hang out at the Magnolia Cafe. More people go to my school than
live in Australia. I honestly believe that Ricky Williams is a god. I am
open-minded and spiritually in tune - except towards people who are
closed-minded and spiritually out of tune. You can see my dorm from Chicago
for it is as tall as Florida would be if it stood up. I protest everything
-except protests. I am a gold card carrying member of Amnesty International.
I am openly bi-curious. I am a Longhorn.

TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY I live in a town the size of a piece of
bacteria on a fly's ass. I spend Friday nights practicing my yells.
I can whoop better than anyone can in my battalion. I beat up faggots for
fun. If
I'm not yelling, drinking with my battalion, or beating up faggots
for fun, I am at the Dixie Chicken. My father went to school here, just as
his father
did before him, and his father before him. My brother went to tu. They never
found his body after he came home that first Christmas in college. I won't
walk on the grass. I look forward to the day I, too, will do the elephant
walk. I believe it is cool to do something because they tell me it is
tradition. If something is not a tradition and we accidentally do it, we
then make it one. I can call UT "tu" if I want. I am an Aggie. BAYLOR
UNIVERSITY I live by homeless vagrants, whom I turn my
nose up I look just like everyone else at my school. The NoZe Brothers are
the coolest things since khakis and sandals. I have an Abercrombie and Fitch
everything. I can co-ordinate outfits and ensembles better than anyone in my
upscale apartment complex. I have radar that lets me know where the closest
ATM is. If I can't find one it's okay. I have ten credit cards all of which
to my parents. My town is so conservative that anyone who kisses on the
mouth
before three years of marriage is drug through the town. I like me. I should
be an underwear model. I am a Bear.

TEXAS TECH UNIVERSITY I live on a piece of dirt so flat that we call the
four degree incline at the intersection of 19th and Brownfield the big hill.
I get dirt in my eyes, hair, and teeth when I walk to class. I can out drink
anyone from any other school because that is what we do. If I'm not drunk by
4:30pm, I'm high. I can't buy beer within 50 miles of where I<live - so I
trek to the strip, which my friends and I
all consider a true paradise on Earth. I don't go to many football games. I
don't go to any organizational meetings. I don't really go to anything. Not
even class. I like the fact that Will Rogers' horse's ass points to College
Station. I fry cow balls. I know where Buddy Holly used to live. I am
desperately trying to find a rival within our conference to make fun of. Our
football players get caught by the NCAA. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm
high. But I'm usually drunk by 4:30pm. Or I'm high. I am
a Red Raider.

THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH TEXAS (UNT) I am either a film geek or a musician.
If I am neither then you will find me hanging out on Fry Street dressed in
my punk garb. I think my school sucks yet I still attend school here. I wear
t-shirts and hats from either A&M or UT because I wish I could've gotten in
there. On Thursdays you will find me shaking my thang at the Groovey Mule or
down in Deep Ellum. I think Denton is the scuzziest town ever and I bitch
about all the pot holes in the roads when I am driving anywhere in the city.
Most of the people here are weird. Noone
stays on the weekends. Noone has ever even heard of my school. On Sundays,
the whole town goes to church at Denton Bible. Damn, I really wish I
could've gotten into one of the other Texas colleges. I am a mean green
Eagle. Cawwww!
TEXAS CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY (TCU) I am in a frat or sorority of course. I
drive a Lexus or Mercedes, and if I pass all my classes then Daddy said he
would buy me that little condo on Hulen next semester. I wear my diamonds
and heels for football games and get dressed for bed and THEN go to the
basketball games. Anyone and everyone goes to the Pub or Scooners, or to
Longhorns and dance with old Mexican cowboys. We are having a J.Crew built
in the bookstore next year and our send home credit cards apply at ALL times
and locations. Where the girls' hair is as fake as their tans. The freshman
15 means nothing more to me than a new wardrobe. Where the girl to guy ratio
is four to one and the only one getting any action is the rapist. Where the
girls are girls, and so are the guys. I'm a Frog.

SOUTHERN METHODIST UNIVERSITY (SMU) See the listing for Texas Christian
University above...change 'Hulen' to 'Mockingbird'. I'm aMustang.

SFA STATE UNIVERSITY I am drunk or having sex right now. I went to class
once. That about sums it up. I am a Lumberjack.

THE UNIVERSITY OF HOUSTON I work all day or all night. I attend school
part-time. I'm trying to get a degree, any degree, to help get a decent job.
I live with my parents, and spend as little time on campus as possible.
Football games?? You mean we have a football team??? When say my school is
in an urban setting, I'm serious. In the shadows of the fourth largest city
in the U.S., right in one of the most crime-ridden areas I go to school. I
wish I could go to A&M, or any other big school and get a real degree. I
wish I hadn't flunked out when I was attending a real
school. I'm a Cougar.

SOUTHWEST TEXAS STATE UNIVERSITY (SWT) I tried to get into a real school,
but couldn't. I spend most weekends tubing down the river in New Braunsfels
drunk and/or high and naked, or getting drunk and acting stupid. I'm a
Bobcat.

SAM HOUSTON STATE UNIVERSITY (SHSU) I am a big time band nerd.
My favorite hobby is playing with my instrument. There are no attractive
people at my school because we're all band geeks. At night, my flute is my
best friend. I'm studying music so that I can become a licensed band geek
leader and warp the minds of future generations. What the hell is a Bearkat,
anyway?

TARLETON STATE UNIVERSITY I am a roper ("kicker"). My life revolves around
bovines and sheep, and I like studying "animal husbandry", if you know what
I mean. I either wear Wranglers that cut the circulation off to my unit, or
Rockies that give me a major camel toe. I have a belt buckle the size of a
dinner plate. My favorite beer is Coors Lite. I have a gun rack in the back
of my pickup, which is a diesel with dual wheels. I am a Texan.

EAST TEXAS STATE Who cares? Does anybody go there? Isn't that
like a community college?