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Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Return-Path: <JLiakako@cns.gov< Received: from rly-wa01.mx.cs.com (rly-wa01.mail.cs.com [172.18.149.20]) by air-xa01.mail.cs.com (v67_b1.24) with ESMTP; Tue, 22 Feb 2000 08:12:27 -0500 Received: from [204.124.231.11] (fw.cns.gov [204.124.231.11]) by rly-wa01.mx.cs.com (v67_b1.24) with ESMTP; Tue, 22 Feb 2000 08:12:22 -0500 Received: from mailrelay.cns.gov by [204.124.231.11] via smtpd (for rly-wa01.mx.cs.com [205.188.156.52]) with SMTP; 22 Feb 2000 13:05:45 UT Received: from smtp.cns.gov (smtp.cns.gov [10.0.0.30]) by mailrelay.cns.gov (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id IAA25084; Tue, 22 Feb 2000 08:09:30 -0500 Received: by smtp.cns.gov with Internet Mail Service (5.5.2448.0) id <F1CY2J0V<; Tue, 22 Feb 2000 08:06:12 -0500 Message-ID: <FB1AC367144FD311A7910008C7E639CD3E6389@exchange.cns.gov< From: "Liakakos, John" <JLiakako@cns.gov< To: "'ACHRIST642@aol.com'" <ACHRIST642@aol.com< Cc: "'Basile'" <opabasile@aol.com<, "Christian, Alfred" <AChristi@cns.gov<, "'Dean Skandalis'" <dskandalis@mpegla.com<, "'gavgerinos@hotmail.com'" <gavgerinos@hotmail.com<, "'greekpaul@rocketmail.com'" <greekpaul@rocketmail.com<, "'John Papathakis'" <jpapa@alextom.com<, "'John Vasilios'" <john.vasilios@allfirst.com<, "'lincoln316@go.com'" <lincoln316@go.com<, "'Luke Georgalas'" <lukegeor@yahoo.com<, "'Maria Del Mar Navarro'" <delmar74@yahoo.com<, "'Melis'" <melrimer@aol.com<, "'Michael Skandalis'" <mikes@mghadvertising.com<, "'Mike Georgalas'" <mikegeor@wam.umd.edu<, "'Paul Handakas'" <Handakas_P@BLS.GOV<, "'Paul Trintis'" <ptrintis@cs.com<, "'Sotiri Koumoudis'" <sotirient@aol.com<, "'tgerp@hotmail.com'" <tgerp@hotmail.com<, "'Tim Stayeas'" <Timothy.Stayeas@digital.com< Subject: One Liners Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2000 08:09:21 -0500 MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2448.0) Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? < < < < < Ask your Mom. ==================================================== How do you know when you're really ugly? < < < < < < Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. ==================================================== What is the quickest way to clear out a mens restroom? < < < < < < Say, "Nice Dick" ===================================================== How do you know when you're leading a sad life? < < < < < < When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends." ===================================================== Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? < < < < < < Because they have cotton balls. ===================================================== Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have? < < < < < < Palm Sunday ===================================================== Why is being in the Military like a blowjob? < < < < < < The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. ===================================================== What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate? < < < < < < Miracle Whip ==================================================== What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? < < < < < Her Navel. ===================================================== What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? < < < < < < A Bingo Machine. ===================================================== What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? < < < < < < A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. ===================================================== Why did God create alcohol? < < < < < < So ugly people could have sex too. ===================================================== What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? < < < < < < "Are you sure it's mine?" ===================================================== What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? < < < < < < Beer Nuts are $1.25, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. ===================================================== What three two-letter words mean small? < < < < < < "Is It In?" ==================================================== Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? < < < < < < Mace will do that to you. ===================================================== If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have? < < < < < < Divorce proceedings most likely. ====================================================== Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? < < < < < < Everyone has the same DNA. ====================================================== A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God I wish I had your willpower." ====================================================== < < < < < < And some to offend Damn Near Everyone........... < < < < < < < < < < < < ====================================================== Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby? < < < < < < They named him Sum Ting Wong. ====================================================== What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? < < < < < A speech impediment. ====================================================== What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring. ====================================================== What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? < < < < < < Men miss them all. ====================================================== Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? < < < < < < Breasts don't have eyes. ====================================================== Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? < < < < Because they're not going to work in the future either. ====================================================== Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." ====================================================== What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp. ====================================================== Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed. class uses it. ====================================================== What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe. ====================================================== How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say F*#@? Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo" ====================================================== What's the Cuban National Anthem? Row row row your boat. ====================================================== What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time" A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit." John Liakakos Community Relations Specialist Northeast Region- NCCC
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