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Enron Mail |
Much truth in this rapier thrust of humor. As I continue to reflect on eve= nts, rumors and speculations, it strikes me that the Enron story seems to b= e unfolding as a story that is all about a kind of Rogue upper management t= hing. The traditional fear of rogue trading, where a trader has control of= the back office and spins off into a series of trades, each one designed t= o offset a previous bad one until the whole house of cards tumbles down, t= his prototypical risk was carefully managed at Enron. We actually have a v= ery high quality trading business with good legal, accounting and settlemen= t processes in place. What we didn't have covered was a king of rogue fina= ncial sorcery thing by the very top executives. Rogue balance sheet shenan= igans seems to be the problem. It is a kind of corruption that is difficu= lt to isolate and purge ourselves of. Instead of isolating a single bad gu= y and firing him and then telling everybody all is well, this kind of cor= ruption seems to call for a revolution from below, or, as seems increasing= ly likely, a takeover from without. ----cgy =20 -----Original Message----- From: =09Sager, Elizabeth =20 Sent:=09Wednesday, November 07, 2001 8:41 AM To:=09Yoder, Christian; Hall, Steve C. (Legal) Subject:=09FW: The mystery is over!! In case Marcus didn't forward. Watch the crows carefully, I'm wary of the = day. Talk to you soon. Elizabeth Sager 713-853-6349 -----Original Message----- From: =09Nettelton, Marcus =20 Sent:=09Monday, November 05, 2001 8:11 AM To:=09Sager, Elizabeth Subject:=09The mystery is over!! Make sure you don't miss the last one.... Feudalism You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. ---------- Fascism You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the= milk. ---------- Pure Communism You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you all share the milk. ---------- Applied Communism You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. ---------- Totalitarianism You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. ---------- Pure Democracy You have two cows. You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk. ---------- Representative Democracy You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. ---------- Mexican Democracy You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army. ---------- European Democracy You have two cows. The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply. If there aren't any, they invent some. They pay you not to milk the cows. They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the d= rain. They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. American Democracy The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it.=20 After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futur= es. The press dubs the affair "cowgate," but supports the president. The cows sue you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy. ---------- Capitalism You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. ---------- Enron Venture Capitalism You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of cr= edit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/ equity= swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, = with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are tr= ansferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by = the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to you= r listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with= an option on one more.
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