FW: Darwin Awards

----- Forwarded by Paul T Lucci/NA/Enron on 08/16/2001 09:41 AM -----

=09Mark Whitt Sent by: Mark Whitt 08/16/2001 08:22 AM =09 To: Paul T Lucc=
i/NA/Enron@Enron, Tyrell Harrison/NA/Enron@Enron, Charles Varnell/Enron@Enr=
onXGate cc: Barry Tycholiz/Enron@EnronXGate Subject: FW: Darwin Awards=09

These are awsome!
----- Forwarded by Mark Whitt/NA/Enron on 08/16/2001 08:22 AM -----

=09"Appling, Mike" <mappling@chematch.com< 08/15/2001 04:30 PM =09 To: "A=
lan Millis (E-mail)" <amillis@consolidatedgraphics.com<, "Arthur Carpentier=
(E-mail)" <acarpentier@pyapc.com<, "Brett Treadwell (E-mail)" <brett.p.tre=
adwell@us.arthurandersen.com<, "Brian Cannell (E-mail)" <BrianCannell@assoc=
iates.PZLQS.com<, "Brian O'Leary (E-mail)" <bpoleary@swbell.net<, "Charles =
Norris (E-mail)" <charles.norris@staff-leasing.com<, "Chris Ferrazi (E-mail=
)" <caferazzi@porterhedges.com<, "David Zaozirny (E-mail)" <david.l.zaozirn=
y@us.arthurandersen.com<, "'Dean Patry' (E-mail)" <dean_patry@transcanada.c=
om<, "'Diane Appling (E-mail)" <dappling@wcnet.net<, "Dwayne Hyzak (E-mail)=
" <dhyzak@quantaservices.com<, "George Appling (E-mail)" <George_Appling@mc=
kinsey.com<, "Jeff Thomas (E-mail)" <Jeff.Thomas@morganstanley.com<, "Jeff =
Todes (E-mail)" <jtodes@corestaff.com<, "Jerry Jernigan (E-mail)" <jerry.je=
rnigan@entergykoch.com<, "Jes Morris (E-mail)" <Jesse_Morris@ENRON.net<, "J=
ohn Carr (E-mail)" <john_carr@hines-ww.com<, "Kelly Boston (E-mail)" <Bosto=
nK@ennis.ednet10.net<, "Kevin Baros (E-mail)" <kbenviro@tisd.net<, "Kregg L=
unsford (E-mail)" <g.kregg.lunsford@arthurandersen.com<, "Kristi Bishop (E-=
mail)" <kbishop@quantaservices.com<, "Leslie cell (E-mail 2)" <Leslie.Appli=
ng@fortbend.k12.tx.us<, "Mark Whitt (E-mail)" <Mark.Whitt@enron.com<, "Piet=
er Smit (E-mail)" <pieter.smit@gecapital.com<, "Shannon Martin (E-mail)" <s=
martin@quantaservices.com<, "Steven Jernigan (E-mail)" <sjernig@entergy.com=
<, "Steven Wolf (E-mail)" <steven.wolf@entergykoch.com<, "Wade Pursell (E-m=
ail)" <wade_pursell@caldive.com<, "Wade Sanders (E-mail)" <wsanders@qup.com=
<, "William evans (E-mail)" <wevans@qcorps.com< cc: Subject: FW: Darwin =
Awards=09

-----Original Message-----
From: Boase, Allan=20
Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 7:47 AM
To: Appling, Mike; Brown, Nancy; Cook, Fred; Exley, Melisa; Giraldo,
Melissa; Josephs, Bob; Leahy, Steve; Loria, Lori; McAfee, Larry;
Medeles, Ismael; Orjuela, Natalie; Peyton, Mickie; Snear, Clay; Venezia,
Charles
Subject: FW: Darwin Awards

-

Subject: FW: Darwin Awards

< Subject: Darwin Awards
< Date: Fri, 3 Aug 2001 22:22:51 EDT
< They have finally been released!
< #11 In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and
< drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an
< 18-inch wide sewergrate to retrieve his car keys.
< #10 In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
< zoned when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a
< 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
< #9 Buston, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he
had
< dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel
< Jones 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had
< been
< sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
< collapsed,burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on
< the
< outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
< Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA but could not reach him. It took
< rescue
< workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about
< 200
< people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at the hospital.
< #8 In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24 was killed in Lornpoc, Ca as he
< fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
< burglarizing.
< Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth
< (to < keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit th=
e
< floor.
< #7 According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20
< was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23 who
< was < trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flack vest
Berrena
< was < wearing.
< #6 Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26 was killed in February in Selbyville,
< DE, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver
< loaded < with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
< #5 In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel
< Kolta,27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, earning a
< tie < in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
< #4 Taos, NM, A woman went to a poison control center after eating
< three birth-control vaginal inserts. Her English was so bad she had to
< draw < a picture describing how she believed she had poisoned herself. A
< translator arrived shortly thereafter and confirmed doctor's
< suspicions. Marie Valishnokov thought the inserts were somekind of cand=
y
< or < gum, being unable to read the foil wrappers. After the third one,
she
< realized something was wrong with her throat and mouth began to fill
< with < sour-tasting foam. She ran for the Poison Control Center, only a
few
< blocks < away where doctors were able to flush the foam from her mouth,
throat
< and < stomach with no ill effects.
< #3 La Grange, Ga, attorney Antonio Mendoza was released from a trauma
< center after having a cell phone removed from his rectum. "My dog
< drags the thing all over the house," he said later. "He must have
< dragged it < into the shower. I slipped on the tile tripped against the
dog and sat
< down < right on the thing," The extraction took more than three hours du=
e
to
< the < fact that the cover to Mr. Mendoza's phone had opened during
insertion.
< He < was a real trooper during the entire episode, said Dr. Dennis Crobe
< "Tony < just cracked jokes and really seemed to be enjoying himself.
Three
< times < during the extraction his phone rang and each time, he made jokes
about
< it < that just had us rolling on the floor. By the time we finished, we
< really < did expect to find an answering machine in there."
< #2 Bremererton, WA, Christopher Coulter and his wife, Emily were
< engaging in bondage games when Christopher suggested spreading peanut
< butter < on his genitals and letting Rudy, their Irish Setter, lick them
clean.
< Sadly, Rudy lost control and began tearing at Christopher's penis and
< testicles. Rudy refused to obey commands and a panicked Emily threw a
< Half-gallon bottle of perfume at the dog. The bottle broke, covering
< the dog < and Christopher with perfume. Startled, Rudy leaped back,
tearing away
< the < penis. While trying to get her unconscious husband in the car to
take
< him to < the hospital,
< Emily fell twice, injuring her wrists and ankle. Christopher's penis
< was in a Styrofoam ice cooler. "Chris is just plain lucky, "said the
< surgeon, who spent eight hours reattaching the penis. "Believe it or
< not, the < perfume turned out to be very fortuitous. The high alcohol
content,
< which < must have been excruciatingly painful, helped sterilize the wound=
.
< Also, < aside from it being removed, the damage caused by the dog's teet=
h
to
< the< penis per se is minimal. It's really a very stringy piece of flesh.
Mr.
< Coulter stands an excellent chance of regaining the use of that limb
< because < of this."
< Washington Animal Control has no plans to seize Rudy.
<
< AND THE WINNER!!!
< #1 Paderborn, Germany - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed
< his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
< than a
< bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
< finally
< let fly and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
< Investigators
< say ill-fated Friedrich, 46 was attempting to give the ailing elephant
< an < olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump
< truck < full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
defecation
< knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a ock
< and < lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on
top
< of < him
<
<