FW: words on A&M......

-----Original Message-----
From: "Travis Kelley" <tkelley5@austin.rr.com<@ENRON [mailto:IMCEANOTES-+22Travis+20Kelley+22+20+3Ctkelley5+40austin+2Err+2Ecom+3E+40ENRON@ENRON.com]
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2001 4:35 PM
To: Scott, Susan M.
Subject: Fw: words on A&M......

Sue- Have you seen this? Thought you might get a kick out of it! Kathy
----- Original Message -----
From: "theparks" <theparks@ev1.net<
To: "travis" <tkelley@totalaccess.net<; "the fells" <smjf@aol.com<; "maryc"
<marychen@twsco.com<; "kathy" <tkelley5@austin.rr.com<
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2001 3:32 PM
Subject: FW: words on A&M......

< This is funny if you have time to read it!
<
< -----Original Message-----
< From: daniel gustafson [mailto:dgustafson@anational.com]
< Sent: Monday, September 10, 2001 1:25 PM
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< Subject: Fwd: words on A&M......
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< <From: Tionewton@aol.com
< <Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2001 11:31:55 EDT
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< <Subject: Fwd: words on A&M......
< <To: WILLIAM.AHERON@chase.com, "Dennis, Matt W"
<Matt_Dennis@AIMFUNDS.COM<,
< < Luis Garcia <luis@garcialks.com<,
< < Frank Hall <Frankh@doctorandpatient.com<, DAVID.KEY@chase.com,
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< Carlos.Sole@enron.com,
< < TEXASKEW@aol.com
< <Cc: ckk@texas.net
< <From: Claude.Koontz@chase.com
< <Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2001 09:41:04 -0500
< <Message-ID: <OFB03493D5.5773D192-ON86256AC3.004C504D@notes.chase.com<
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< <21, 2001) at 09/10/2001
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< <X-Mailer: Unknown (No Version)
< <
< <
< <
< <Fox Sports Show Host Jim Rome's Opinions on Texas A&M:
< <
< <1) They won't shut up. They have to go on about spirit, and old
< <army, and red ass, and how bonfire represents the burning sensation
< <they have in their urine to beat UT, and blah blah blah. Shut up.
< <You start to get the feeling the entire school was built to spite
< <UT.
< <
< <
< <2) Forget the fact that when the Texas Legislature back in the
< <1870's passed legislation to start a state university they also
< <decided to have a subsidiary branch of the main school (University
< <of Texas) that would teach agriculture and mechanics. Aggies love to
< <say their school is older, from where they get that I don't
< <now......the fact is, the State intended A&M to be a branch of UT.
< <They are like the afterbirth from the original creation. Like Danny
< <Devito in "Twins".
< <
< <
< <3) So they apparently have this complex, so much so, that they must
< <devote their entire school to trying to prove to UT that they are
< <just as good. All the while, nobody at UT denies that A&M is a good
< <school, yet they won't shut up. So they write a fight
< <song......about?....Texas, and how they want to beat them. They have
< <a Fish Camp for freshman where they tell them how bad Texas is and
< <how good A&M and all its traditions are. It is the world's largest
< <known case of penis envy, and it is manifested in everything A&M
< <does.
< <
< <
< <4) The people at A&M. Now we all have friends who went to A&M or are
< <at A&M. There are some nice people there. However...there is the
< <Corp. East Texas' answer to dreams of ROTC kids everywhere. For
< <every boy scout who never learned to stop playing with his GI Joe
< <Toys, there is the Corp.
< <
< <Now, forget the fact that A&M will actually let people with sub-par
< <grades enroll if they agree to join the Corp. Forget the fact that
< <the Corps looked like a Gestapo hate rally while beating down
< <students on Kyle Field in 1995. Forget the fact that along with the
< <numerous hazing charges that have been filed against them, and swept
< <under the rug over the years, they just this past month have had one
< <Corps member bring charges against another Corps member who
< <apparently had been propositioning others for a little actual
< <sodomy. Not only could I go on with more instances of idiocracy by
< <these Khaki-clad-shaven-headed-dorks, I am sure each of you have
< <your own stories.
< <
< <The point is: We all respect West Point, Annapolis, The Air Force
< <Academy; however, nobody respects the Corp. I imagine they are kind
< <of the laughing stock of the military world. Just because you dress
< <like the Army, and try and act like the Army, does not make you the
< <Army. People at A&M don't even respect these clowns. It is not cool
< <to shave your head and dress up.
< <
< <Halloween is only supposed to be one day of the year. If you want to
< <carry guns and beat up civilians, move to Israel.
< <
< <
< <5) It is even less cool to slobber on somebody's daughter on
< <national television and call it a tradition. Dry humping 18 year old
< <girls in the stands at football games is not cool. Not only is it
< <not cool, it should be against the law. I know that in College
< <Station, students are just prone to mount each other on the campus
< <lawn, or in the middle of class, or anytime anything good happens
< <you can just grab the girl sitting next to you and start sucking on
< <her face. But everywhere else in the world, it is looked down upon.
< <Especially if you are doing it on my TV. That is why we have moved
< <the game from Thanksgiving. Because people across the nation were
< <gagging on their turkey when in the middle of watching a football
< <game, some boy scout is tongue thrashing some overweight co-ed
< <during somebody's Thanksgiving dinner.
< <
< <We do not need to see burly women engaged in a suckfest every time
< <your woeful offense manages to put points on the board. Some of
< <these girls are in desperate need of a trip to the Clinique counter.
< <Screw that, forget make-up, it is too late for that, just give them
< <a veil.
< <
< <
< <6) "t.u." is not funny. It is NOT insulting. It is dumb. Just
< <imagine if folks from Texas kept talking about M&A and giggling.
< <That would not be funny. In fact, it would be retarded. That's why
< <UT fans don't do it. Please learn.
< <
< <
< <7) You want to lose the image of country bumpkins, of a people fond
< <of sheep, of people that aren't stupid? Then quit building things
< <that fall down.Quit chasing cheerleaders around with swords on
< <national TV. Quit whooping in church. Quit whooping period. Quit
< <putting up scoreboards for the enjoyment of dead mammals. Quit
< <spending your Friday nights practicing how to yell. Quit telling
< <rape jokes to reporters when you're running for Governor. When you
< <are filling out season ticket renewals, and the form asks for your
< <phone #, H & W, quit putting 258-3999, Height 6'3", Weight 185.
< <Just, collectively, stop making asses of yourselves. Go to East
< <Texas, tour every small town, and ask every red neck with a 5th
< <grade education why they cheer for A&M and wear maroon. That is your
< <fan base. This is why you are perceived by the educated masses as
< <stupid.
< <
< <
< <8) Nobody cares if you think your band is better. They might be
< <louder, they might march in neat little zig zags, but they have no
< <musical ability. The point is, nobody cares who wins halftime. Quit
< <getting geeked up about marching bands. I find it hard to believe
< <you stood through your high school band's entire halftime
< <performance. And why? Cause nobody cared then and nobody cares now.
< <Plus, you can hear them fine sitting down even if you do care. Why
< <is it cool all of a sudden now that you're in college?
< <
< <
< <9) Men should never let out high pitched whooping sounds. Perhaps
< <the only justifiable situation in which this can be tolerated is
< <perhaps during an anal probe. Oh wait...I understand now.
< <
< <
< <10) Dogs are not ladies. They don't look or smell like ladies. Dogs
< <eat their own feces and should be treated accordingly.
< <
< <
< <11) Finally, College Station is an arm-pit of a town. Quit
< <pretending that it is a great college town. It is a town and there
< <is a college there. That should be the end of this comparison. If
< <you feel that life doesn't get any better than the Dixie Chicken,
< <and enjoy being stuck in a never ending "Dukes of Hazard" episode,
< <then move there.
< <
< <More importantly, don't move to Austin.....they are trying to
< <create an educated, technological, and open minded population base.
< <Austin is, and will continue to be, the birthplace and final resting
< <place of all that is cool. As my friend Stephen Johnson once said:
< <"If the world were ever to get an enema, College Station is where
< <you would connect the hose."
< <
< <If you go to school at A&M, please don't be an Aggie.
< <
< <God Bless the Great State of Texas.
< <
< <
< <
< <_________________________________________________________________
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