FW: Dear Mr. Abby

-----Original Message-----
From: William Scholtes [mailto:premierpumpcompany@attbi.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2002 9:18 AM
To: Scholtes, Diana
Subject: Fw: Dear Mr. Abby

From the desk of
Bill Scholtes
Premier Pump Company

< Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby were
< a man?
<
< Dear Mr. Abby:
< Q: My husband wants a threesome with me and my best
< friend.
< A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you!
< Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only
< settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far
< from being an issue, this can bring you closer
< together. Why not get some of your old college
< roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive,
< maybe you should let him be with your friends without
< you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral
< on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about
< it.
<
< Dear Mr. Abby:
< Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex
< on him.
< A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a
< great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know
< this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on
< him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The
< best thing to do is to thank him by performing it
< twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal.
<
< Dear Mr. Abby:
< Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
< A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be
< encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove
< his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young
< single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a
< more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can
< rekindle your relationship better than the man being
< away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the
< house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is
< when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to
< do when he gets home is for you and your best friend
< to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
<
< Dear Mr. Abby:
< Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
< A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If
< you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask
< your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape
< yourself while doing this, and present it to your
< husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish
< guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a
< delicious meal.
<
< Dear Mr. Abby:
< Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
< A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should
< seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is
< very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be
< available to your husband on demand with no pesky
< requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do
< not love your man as much as you should - he should
< never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being
< so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by
< performing oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.
<
< Dear Mr. Abby:
< Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and
< goes to sleep never giving me one.
< A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps
< you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
<
<
<
<
<
< __________________________________________________
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