The final word

here's a funny one....Jeff
---------------------- Forwarded by Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT on 12/15/2000
02:03 PM ---------------------------

Richard Shapiro@ENRON
12/15/2000 01:36 PM
To: James D Steffes/NA/Enron@Enron, Jeff Dasovich/NA/Enron@Enron, Steven J
Kean/NA/Enron@Enron, Mark Palmer/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Robert
Frank/NA/Enron@Enron, Susan M Landwehr/NA/Enron@Enron, Steve
Walton/HOU/ECT@ECT, Leslie Lawner/NA/Enron@Enron, Jose
Bestard/ENRON_DEVELOPMENT@ENRON_DEVELOPMENT, Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT@ECT,
Lisa Yoho/NA/Enron@Enron, Tom Briggs/NA/Enron@Enron, Karen
Denne/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Cindy Derecskey/Corp/Enron@Enron, Ginger
Dernehl/NA/Enron@Enron, Maureen McVicker/NA/Enron@Enron
cc:
Subject: The final word

Jim- I do have faith.

BREAKING NEWS!
<
< GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
< Bush to be smitten later today
<
< (Vatican) In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one
< nation,
< under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule Tuesday night's
< Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.
< "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on
a
< rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back
and
< let
< Bush get away with this nonsense." "I've watched analysts argue for weeks
< now
< that the exact vote count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God
< and I
< DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won
Florida
< by
< exactly 20,219 votes."
<
< Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict
overrules
< the
< official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him
a
< 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible
< grounds
< for appeal.
<
< "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist
Jim
< Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is
< unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of
< Florida."
<
< "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of
< him,
< let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." God, who provided the
< exact
< vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting
< machinery
< and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin'
< idiot." "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan.
Get
< real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them:
< Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
<
< Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's
< prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In
an
< act
< of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of
< Bush's
< goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his
< family
< into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in
a
< salt
< mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.
<
< Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
< -30-
<
<