the Jewish Parrot

here's a good one.
---------------------- Forwarded by Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT on 10/17/2000
12:57 PM ---------------------------

Daniel Reck
10/16/2000 06:06 PM
To: Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT@ECT, Kevin Liss/Corp/Enron@ENRON,
ediamo@coair.com
cc:
Subject: the Jewish Parrot

I usually delete jokes, but this one is pretty funny:

The Jewish Parrot
<
< Sherman, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street one
< day wishing something wonderful would happen into his life, when he
< passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in
< Yiddish:
<
< "Quawwwwk ... vus macht du ... Yeah, du ... outside, standing like a
< putzel ... eh?"
<
< Sherman rubbed his eyes and ears. Couldn't believe it. The proprietor
< sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in
< here, fella, and check out this parrot!"
<
< Sherman stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head
< and said: "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?"
<
< Sherman said to the parrot, "You speak Yiddish?"
<
< The parrot replied, "Vuh den? Chinese maybe?"
<
< In a matter of moments, Sherman had placed five hundred dollars down
< on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All
< night he talked with the parrot. In Yiddish. He told the parrot
< about his father's adventures coming to America. About how beautiful
< his mother was when she was a young bride. About his family About
< his years of working in the garment center. About Florida.
<
< The parrot listened and commented. They shared some walnuts. The
< parrot told him of living in the pet store, how he hated the
< weekends. They both went to sleep.
<
< Next morning, Sherman began to put on his tfillin all the while,
< saying his prayers. The parrot demanded to know what he was doing
< and when Sherman explained, the parrot wanted some too. Sherman went
< out and hand-made a miniature set of tfillin for the parrot.
<
< The parrot wanted to learn to daven, and learned every prayer. He
< wanted to learn to read Hebrew so Sherman spent weeks and months,
< sitting and teaching the parrot, teaching him Torah.
<
< One morning, on Rosh Hashana, Sherman rose and got dressed and was
< about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him. Sherman
< explained that Shul was no place for a bird but the parrot made a
< terrific argument and was carried to Shul on Sherman's shoulder.
<
< Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle, and Sherman was
< questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi and Cantor. They refused
< to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days but Sherman
< convinced them to let him in this one time, swearing that parrot
< could daven.
<
< Wagers were made with Sherman. Thousands of dollars were bet (even
< odds) that the parrot could NOT daven, could not speak Yiddish or
< Hebrew, etc.
<
< All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched
< on Sherman's shoulder as one prayer and song passed - Sherman heard
< not a peep from the bird. He began to become annoyed, slapping at
< his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Daven!"
<
< Nothing.
<
< "Daven ... parrot, you can daven, so daven ... come on, everybody's
< looking at you!"
<
< Nothing.
<
< After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded, Sherman found that he
< owed his Shul buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars. He
< marched home, upset as hell, saying nothing. Finally several blocks
< from the Temple the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song and was
< happy as a lark. Sherman stopped and looked at him.
<
< "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars. Why?
< After I made your tfillin and taught you the morning prayers, and
< taught you to read Hebrew and the Torah. And after you begged me to
< bring you to Shul on Rosh Hashana, why? Why did you do this to me?"
<
< "Don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds on Yom
Kippur!"
<