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Enron Mail |
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~--< FREE COLLEGE MONEY CLICK HERE to search 600,000 scholarships! http://us.click.yahoo.com/ujOgTC/4m7CAA/ySSFAA/Vk9qlB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-< At Homecoming 2000, the BETA TENT had the biggest crowd by far. Stay connected and consider a future homecoming BETA reunion. It's incredible...forget the 20 years in between...everyone just seems to pick it up right where they left off years ago. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Return-Path: <buxelbow@nexet.net< Received: from rly-yd01.mx.aol.com (rly-yd01.mail.aol.com [172.18.150.1]) by air-yd02.mail.aol.com (v80.17) with ESMTP id MAILINYD27-0919215703; Wed, 19 Sep 2001 21:57:03 -0400 Received: from mail.nexet.net (mail.nexet.net [216.174.5.152]) by rly-yd01.mx.aol.com (v80.21) with ESMTP id MAILRELAYINYD12-0919215111; Wed, 19 Sep 2001 21:51:11 -0400 Received: from k [216.174.1.224] by mail.nexet.net (SMTPD32-6.06) id AB8A2E5F00D4; Wed, 19 Sep 2001 21:51:06 -0400 Message-ID: <045a01c14176$c4fdd380$8301aed8@k< From: "Gerry Titus" <buxelbow@nexet.net< To: "Aunt Carole" <Sp2lips@netrax.net< Cc: "Tracey" <Johnwho@netrax.net<, "Paul" <parcher464@aol.com<, "LTJG patrick" <kellerpa@russell.navy.mil<, "John Titus" <jtitus@chesterfield.k12.va.us<, "Jim Towe" <jimt@toweinsurance.com<, "Jim Simons" <jimmers14@aol.com<, "Jim Mcahon" <Casanature@aol.com<, "Jim Dickerson" <jimd@nexet.net<, "Ig" <igo@slip.net<, "Gary F" <GMFC1@aol.com<, "Clarke, Mike" <MEC2W@hscmail.mcc.virginia.edu<, "Bud" <Golfnbud@aol.com<, "Bill Anda" <banda@mr-monticello.com< Subject: beer troubleshooting Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2001 21:51:28 -0400 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.3018.1300 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.3018.1300 Beer Troubleshooting SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog and complain about house training. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender then take taxi home. SYMPTOM: Front view suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and laughs. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind is unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. SYMPTOM: Cold and unable to unlock door to hotel room. FAULT: Woke up in hotel room, got up to go to bathroom and chose wrong door. ACTION: Knock loudly on door to wake companions inside. If this fails, find hotel worker to unlock door for you.
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