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Enron Mail |
I saw this recently. It's true AND funny. This place is amazing.
Jim -----Original Message----- From: "Foster, Gary" <GFoster@Antigenics.com<@ENRON Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2001 7:33 AM To: Steffes, James D. Subject: FW: Enron Joke You're the only person there who could still get a chuckle out of this - hope I'm not wrong. -----Original Message----- From: Pat Mizell [mailto:pmizell@swbell.net] Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 11:06 PM To: Foster, Gary Subject: Fw: Enron Joke ----- Original Message ----- From: <mtrent@reliant.com< To: <Patrick_Mizell@Justex.net<; <ctrent@hajs.com<; <cdoyle@reliant.com<; <dsladic@reliant.com<; <catherine-callaway@reliantenergy.com<; <elmac0000@aol.com<; <montague@sprintmail.com< Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 7:23 PM Subject: Fw: Enron Joke ----- Original Message ----- From:CN=Daniel N Hannon/OU=ADM/O=HouInd To:stephen_w_naeve@reliantenergy.com, CN=Joe Bob Perkins/OU=PG/O=HouInd, CN=Melanie Trent/OU=ADM/O=HouInd, CN=Andrew C Johannesen/OU=ADM/O=HouInd, CN=Bret D Scholtes/OU=ADM/O=HouInd Cc: Date: 11/07/2001 06:52:55 PM Subject:Enron Joke ---------------------- Forwarded by Daniel N Hannon/ADM/HouInd on 11/07/2001 06:51 PM --------------------------- Lee Neathery <lln@pinnacletrust.com< on 11/07/2001 03:14:09 PM To: "Beth Fisk (E-mail)" <beefiskone@hotmail.com<, "Dan Hannon (E-mail)" <daniel-hannon@reliantenergy.com<, "Ernest Miller (E-mail)" <erniem@calpine.com<, "Joan Bremner (E-mail)" <jbremner@houston.rr.com<, "Kevin Vincent (E-mail)" <khvincent@msn.com< cc: Subject: FW: Enron Economics Now you know how it worked....read on. -----Original Message----- From: Stephen Reckling Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 2:02 PM To: Steve Strake; Lee Neathery Subject: FW: Enron Economics Make sure that you read all the way to the end. FEUDALISM You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you all share the milk. APPLIED COMMUNISM You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. TOTALITARIANISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. PURE DEMOCRACY You have two cows. You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk. REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. MEXICAN DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army. EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply. If there aren't any, they invent some. They pay you not to milk the cows. They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the drain. They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. AMERICAN DEMOCRACY The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "cowgate," but supports the president. The cows sue you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy. CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/ equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. ********************************************************************** This e-mail is the property of Enron Corp. and/or its relevant affiliate and may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient (s). Any review, use, distribution or disclosure by others is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient (or authorized to receive for the recipient), please contact the sender or reply to Enron Corp. at enron.messaging.administration@enron.com and delete all copies of the message. This e-mail (and any attachments hereto) are not intended to be an offer (or an acceptance) and do not create or evidence a binding and enforceable contract between Enron Corp. (or any of its affiliates) and the intended recipient or any other party, and may not be relied on by anyone as the basis of a contract by estoppel or otherwise. Thank you. ********************************************************************** ****************************************************************** This email and any files transmitted with it from the ElPaso Corporation are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the sender. ******************************************************************
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