Fw: funny one!

----- Forwarded by Mark Taylor/HOU/ECT on 10/08/2000 04:45 PM -----

Eleanor F Taylor <mzeleanor@juno.com<
09/26/2000 06:13 AM

To: larrystern@altavista.net, Mark.Taylor@enron.com,
Timothy.Taylor@apg.amedd.army.mil
cc:
Subject: Fw: funny one!

--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Melissa Miller <mcsmiller@yahoo.com<
To: mzeleanor@juno.com
Date: Sat, 23 Sep 2000 07:17:19 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: funny one!
Message-ID: <20000923141719.26058.qmail@web125.yahoomail.com<

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated
"if GM had kept up
with the technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be
driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued
a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to
buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
no reason. You
would have to pull over to the side of the road, close
all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before
you
could proceed. For some reason you would simply
accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause
your

car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless
you bought
"CarNT,"
but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was
reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive- but
would run on only
five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all
be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault"
warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before
deploying.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out

and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though attempting to
delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to
diminish by 50% or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn
to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in
the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.

Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation
by the Justice
Dept.

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