FW: Men's Rights

---------------------- Forwarded by Lisa Shoemake/HOU/ECT on 05/10/2001 08:13 AM ---------------------------
From: George D Smith/ENRON@enronXgate on 04/26/2001 11:54 AM
To: "Art McGee (E-mail)" <artmcgee@mindspring.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Bobby Litke at home (E-mail)" <lughan@aol.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Bobby Litke at work (E-mail)" <lughan@juno.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Dean Hughes at work (E-mail)" <dean.hughes@litton.c-bass.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Francis and Joey Haas (E-mail)" <frankiemonk@yahoo.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "George at home (E-mail)" <gorge8ball@hotmail.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Glen and Stacey at home (E-mail)" <poorwhiteboyz@aol.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, Lisa Shoemake/HOU/ECT@ECT, "Renee Peace (E-mail)" <peacewoman70@hotmail.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Rodney Cook at home (E-mail)" <recook0769@aol.com<@SMTP@enronXgate, "Tommie and Jimmie Prince (E-mail)" <jprince@thegateway.net<@SMTP@enronXgate, Stacey Duplessis/Enron Communications@Enron Communications
cc:
Subject: FW: Men's Rights

1. How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

3. Why do women have smaller feet than a man?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.

4. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me. . . "

5. How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

6. Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

8. What's worse than a male chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she is told.

9. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was "Always".

10. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

11. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

12. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%.
It's called a wedding cake.

13. Marriage is a three ring circus.
Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffering.

14. Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked," What was on the TV?"
I said, "Dust."

15. Why do men die before women?
They want to.

16. Young son,"Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa,
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
That happens in every country son.

17. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: Wife Wanted."
The next =20 day he received a hundred letter.
They all said the same thing: You can take mine."

18. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once.

19. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
beautiful.

20. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to
bed.
Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, then go to the
refrigerator.