FW: DARWIN AWARDS

---------------------- Forwarded by David W Delainey/HOU/EES on 05/17/2001
08:47 AM ---------------------------

Ken Rice@ENRON COMMUNICATIONS
05/16/2001 09:34 AM
To: David W Delainey/HOU/EES@EES
cc: Kevin Hannon/Enron Communications@Enron Communications
Subject: FW: DARWIN AWARDS

Delainey

Why is it that a Canadian always seems to win the Darwin Awards?

Ken

----- Forwarded by Ken Rice/Enron Communications on 05/16/01 09:26 AM -----

donrs@donrs.com
05/16/01 08:46 AM

To: RMSherrill@duke-energy.com, lance_riley@anadarko.com, Ken Rice/Enron
Communications@Enron Communications, alinbeck@redstonegroup.com
cc:
Subject: FW: DARWIN AWARDS

-----Original Message-----
From: Bob and Sharyn Perkins [mailto:bsbprkns@jump.net]
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2001 9:04 PM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: Fw: DARWIN AWARDS

Read it and shake your head in wonder.
< Subject: FW: DARWIN AWARDS
<
<
< << Hot off the press! The 2000-2001 Darwin Awards
< Are Here!! < The latest
< << Darwin Awards update....
< << 1. A Canadian man, searching for a way of
< getting drunk cheaply, because
< << he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed
< gasoline with milk. Not
< << surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and
< he vomited into the
< << fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion
< and fire burned his house
< << down, killing both him and his sister.
< << 2. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the
< basement of his home died of
< << suffocation, according to police. He was
< approximately 6'2" tall and
< << weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated
< skirt, white bra, black and
< << white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It
< appeared that he was trying to
< << create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also
< wearing a military gas
< << mask that had the filter canister removed and a
< rubber hose attached in
< << its place. The other end of the hose was
< connected to a one end of a
< << hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in
< diameter. The tube's other
< << end was inserted into his rear end for reasons
< unknown, and was the cause
< << of his suffocation. Police found the task of
< explaining the circumstances
< << of his death to his family very awkward.
< << 3. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light
< aircraft at low altitude
< << when another plane approached. It appears that
< they decided to moon the
< << occupants of the other plane, but lost control of
< their own aircraft and
< << crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage
< with their pants around
< << their ankles.
< << 4. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911
< call. She had no details
< << before arriving, except that someone had reported
< that his father was not
< << breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the
< man face down on the couch,
< << naked. When she rolled him over to check for a
< pulse and to start CPR, she
< << noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the
< ambulance arrived and
< << removed the man - who was declared dead on
< arrival at the hospital - the
< << police made a closer inspection of the couch, and
< noticed that the man had
< << made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping
< the couch over, they
< << discovered what caused his death. Apparently the
< man had a habit of
< << putting his penis between the cushions, down into
< the hole and between two
< << electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed,
< for obvious reasons).
< << According to the story, after his orgasm the
< discharge shorted out one of
< << the sanders, electrocuting him.
< << 5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her
< car on a highway near
< << Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously
< injuring her passenger and
< << killing herself. As a commonplace road accident,
< this would not have
< << qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not
< for the fact that the
< << driver's attention had been distracted by her
< Tamagotchi key ring, which
< << had started urgently beeping for food as she
< drove along. In an attempt to
< << press the correct buttons to save the
< Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost
< << her own.
< << 6. A 22-year-old Reston, VA man was found dead
< after he tried to use
< << octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot
< railroad trestle. Fairfax
< << County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food
< worker, taped a bunch of these
< << straps together, wrapped an end around one foot,
< anchored the other end to
< << the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit
< the pavement. Warren
< << Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
< investigators think Barcia was alone
< << because his car was found nearby. "The length of
< the cord that he had
< << assembled was greater than the distance between
< the trestle and the
< << ground", Carmichael said. Police say the apparent
< cause of death was
< << "Major trauma".
< << 7. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites.
< It seems that he and a
< << friend were playing a game of catch, using the
< rattlesnake as a ball. The
< << friend - no doubt, a future Darwin Awards
< candidate - was hospitalised.
< << 8. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west
< Texas noticed the smell
< << of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
< building, extinguishing
< << all potential sources of ignition lights, power,
< etc. After the building
< << had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
< company were dispatched.
< << Upon entering the building, they found they had
< difficulty navigating in
< << the dark. To their frustration, none of the
< lights worked (you can see
< << what's coming, can't you?). Witnesses later
< described the sight of one of
< << the technicians reaching into his pocket and
< retrieving an object, that
< << resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of
< the lighter-like object,
< << the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces
< of it up to three miles
< << away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but
< the lighter was virtually
< << untouched by the explosion. The technician
< suspected of causing the blast
< << had never been thought of as 'bright' by his
< peers.
<
<