Enron Mail

To:greg.whalley@enron.com, john.lavorato@enron.com
Subject:Fwd: To the citizens of the United States of America
Date:Wed, 22 Nov 2000 13:32:00 -0800 (PST)

Thought you might enjoy -----
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Subject: Fwd: To the citizens of the United States of America
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From: "Reilly, Tim PENC:EX" <Tim.Reilly@gems5.gov.bc.ca<
Subject: To the citizens of the United States of America
To: "'ddelain@aol.com'" <ddelain@aol.com<
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To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she
does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP,
for the
97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for
further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed

just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the
same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like"
and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

6. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we

7. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.